Sadness and Change
by MysticStoryteller
Summary: A OneShot about the fateful night when Voldemort killed the Potter parents, and Snape's feelings and reactions.


Disclaimer: I, sadly, do not own Harry Potter…I'm awfully sorry about that.

A/N: Hello everyone! This is a first try for me at doing a Harry Potter OneShot. So, please, be easy on me. I hope you all like it. This idea came to me while watching some SnapexLily videos on You Tube. I was one of those few people who actually did not like professor Snape at all. That is, until I read Deathly Hallows. I felt bad for Snape, and can definitely sympathize. Still, I wasn't one for the whole Lily/Snape relationship. But, my friends helped me realize that it's a very sad thing for poor Snape, so now I'm a Snape fan. Now, understand that I have nothing against James/Lily and I actually prefer it. However, as I watched the videos, I wondered how Snape, still a young confused man, must've felt on that fateful night of the Potters' tragedy. So, here is what I thought Snape would have done. Enjoy!

A twenty-one year old Serverus Snape sat in the corner the news sinking in. Had he not expected this? Was this not the fate he knew would befall her? The tears did not come at first; it still didn't seem real.

"Serverus?" Dumbledore was teary-eyed but was watching him intently. He seemed worried.

Snape didn't answer. He didn't even look up. "Will you take him Serverus?" Dumbledore asked fiercely.

"No." Snape said quietly.

"This is time for action. He would be far better off with you. _Please _take him." Dumbledore pleaded.

"No." Snape said again, a slight bit more forceful this time.

"Very well." Dumbledore strode away, obviously to give the baby to those horrid relatives.

There was an utter silence. Then Snape burst into tears. He loved Lily and he had once hoped that he would steal Lily away from James, convince her that his own love was more pure than James's. But how could that be? Grudgingly, Snape admitted that James had indeed loved Lily, though how much was uncertain.

He fell to his knees, crying out in agony. He felt as if when he had first met Lily, he had become whole. Then, over time he had began to lose his wholeness, began to lose Lily. And now, finally he had lost it all. It had slipped through his fingers and he could do nothing about it.

Snape had been a man who had thoroughly numbed himself, trying unintentionally to put a wall between him and his pain. And now that his everything was gone, the numbness was pulled harshly away, like a curtain, to reveal a heart writhing with utter despair.

His mind flitted back to the memories. He remembered how he had met her, seen her grow up. He knew her from head to toe. Her perfect, silky red hair and her beautiful green eyes. He felt anger in the deepest reaches of his soul; those eyes now belonged to a small bratty mini-James that would never hold the same purity, the same splendor.

He stood, shakily. The two Potter males would not stop him from grieving the loss of his true love, not today. He drew his wand and cast a disaperating spell.

Within moments, he appeared on a grass lawn wet with dew. The night was cold and the wind blew uneasily. The house in front of him was burned and smoking. The tears of sadness turned to tears of anger; if she had married him, she would be safe. But she had chosen James instead, and now she was dead.

Carefully he stepped over the charred threshold of the Potter household. All around him were burning embers that not long ago had been walls full of safety and hope. Now they held nothing but death.

He rushed up the edgy steps to the child's room. The door was gone (like all the others were) and there, among the wreckage laid Lily's cold body, her red hair covering her face. Snape approached cautiously, brushing her hair aside. Her face was pale, but as striking as ever.

Serverus Snape couldn't contain himself. He kissed her fiercely, as the tears of grief and despair rolled down his marble skin. Night turned to early morning, rainy skies turned to clearing heavens and Snape knew he had not much time left with his beloved. The sky grew lighter and lighter. The tears still streaked Snape's face, but he had gone through change. His face was stony and held a permanent look of disgust.

Mr. Snape was no longer a man of outer turmoil. In this night, he had become a man so wrapped up in the confusion that battled in his heart that nothing but bitter hatred remained on the surface. He was determined to hate Harry Potter with all his being.

He stood reluctantly, and waited as the sky turned lighter and lighter. He would have to go now. And as the sky began to light, the clouds from the previous rainy day drifted away and Snape walked towards the sunlight. He would remain, until his final breath a different man. A man who, despite his difficult life, loved a woman and was unable to receive her love in return.

A/N: Sad huh? I hope everyone liked it. No flamers please. Do enjoy. And say 'fireworks' in your review if you have read my author notes. Thanks for reading!


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